Conscious source

I think it's inevitable, that at some point in our lives, we will all return to the source of creation. That we will stop and look around and realise the destruction, that not only are we are causing to our planet, but to ourselves. I do not believe that the healing of the planet comes from doing deeds for the earth until we are ready.

I believe that we must first heal ourselves.

That we must change our beliefs and turn to the earth. Only when we truly love ourselves can we love and nurture our planet. A consciousness is emerging, slowly but surely more people are embracing change within themselves.

They are returning to the silence of ancient landscapes, they are swimming in the sea, they are walking barefoot through a forest. In essence, they are returning to and connecting with a source much deeper than any other.

                                                     A source that is never ending.

A source of energy that will always be there. Through this connection a higher consciousness stems inside of us - God consciousness. When we feel this we become alive. We become passionate and we start healing. Mother Earth feels this and she responds. She sends you blessings, suddenly nothing is a coincidence, it is all divine timing. You meet people who are your kin, your smile widens and your heart feels like it may burst forth from your chest because your consciousness is expanding rapidly and with that you begin to spend more time in nature, nurturing the land.

You begin to see the destruction in a different way, with more love and peace and you act accordingly to heal the planet.

It is a spiral, with no end this love. This unbiased and unconditional love that you feel extends further past the planet and into the cosmos and you become one with the source.

                                                         

                                                        You are the source.



                                                    The blessed source is you.

Becoming more "me"

" The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart - Helen Keller "

Walking along the cobblestone driveway to the mailbox I revel in the sunshine on my face and the feel of a summers dress swishing around my thighs. Such small delights yet after being bed ridden for the past 5 days this feels like heaven to me. The sun is shining, as it has every other day this week but rather than staring out at it through a bedroom window as I lay under piles of blankets, I am enjoying it settling on my skin. Not one for being sick, I am suprised at how well I have coped this week. I am suprised that my only break down was as I was laying in a warm bath to soothe my aching body, although not suprised at my tears because to be honest I was conjuring up all sorts of dreadful illnesses that could be plaguing my body not knowing what the heck was happening. It seems a virus can do this to one. The last time I was this sick was when I was in my early 20's & diagnosed with tonsillitis, but that was due to my own carelessness - excess alcohol, partying & smoking cigarettes like they were going out of fashion. Oh how the tides turn - these days it's all mung beans & lights out by 8pm, that's what maturity does to one I guess & the ideology of living a healthy lifestyle for mind, body & soul. And I like it! But besides the bathtub breakdown there has also been a niggling feeling at my heart. And until today I couldn't quite put my finger on what that was. As the sunny day turned grey from rain clouds building on the horizon there was a shift in the air - and in me. I pulled a trashy novel from the bookshelf and set up camp with a cup of tea on the outdoor sofa as the heavens opened. I read for hours as the rain fell softly & birds played happily in the trees, and I suddenly realised something so incredibly important. That this was something I used to do for myself regularly when I was in my late teens at home in Tasmania. That this reminded  me of a person I thought I used to be, but realised I still am. Someone who can relax and just enjoy something as trashy as a novel about a high flying New Yorker marring a rich merchant banker. So what if I don't read The Celestine Prophecy and mediate every morning after a 2 hour yoga session. It's okay to be sick and fall off the health band wagon for a bit. Mind you it's great to get right back on it and these past few days looking after myself with my eating & my rest patterns has sure paid off. I also realised something else and that's striking a BALANCE. The past few years I have been so caught up in chasing the sun, chasing waves and living free that I stifled parts of myself that reminded me of HOME. Parts of me that brought me balance - like the trashy novel. I've been wanting to be the epitome of healthy but I forgot that the key to that health is the balance. And not even on purpose. It just happened. I realised that that niggling at my heart was me craving to be at home - to be with my family & to be nurtured by my parents. Sure, I'm 34 years old but I don't think the yearning to be close to your family ever leaves you, especially when you spend 80% of your life away from those that you love the most. And then I realised something even more huge - that I miss the LOVE of my family. Sure we still all love each other no matter where we each are, but there's nothing better than walking through the front door at mum and dad's for a Wednesday night family tea or sitting down to Christmas lunch with the gang. Nothing can replace that - not surfing, not road trips, not travel, not freedom..... Because for me the most important thing in my life is that LOVE for my family. I see new horizons in front of me soon. Where I will see my family & friends more often. Where I laugh more often. Where I recement old friendships and let go of new ones that are not serving me in a positive way. But most of all - I see parts of me tee merging that have been dormant for some time, squashed by the ideals of society. I see A NEWFOUND BALANCE AND FREEDOM. Yes!

Dreamlike thoughts.....

Tonight I sit outside in the soft glow of dusk. Crickets and frogs are chirping and croaking as the last rays of the sunlight colour the sky from red to orange and then to a pale blue.

I am sitting eating warm sweet potato & juicy salad leaves that I harvested this afternoon with my bare hands from the garden that I have so lovingly tended to for months now.

Its getting darker and I can hardly see the page I am writing on, but I continue writing, propelled by thoughts and visions that are tumbling from my soul.

The cars on the distant highway echo that humanity is near, but as this thought enters my mind it leaves just as quickly when a kookaburra on the gum tree starts laughing and reminds me that I am surrounded by nature, infinitely connected to the source.

Sometimes - I dream of sharing moments such as this - with someone who appreciates nature at the same cosmic, incredible depth I do. I am wholly complete within myself, spending hours and hours alone every day, yet at times like this I yean to lean against a strong and warm man as we immerse our souls as one with Mother Earth. He is gentle in spirit and kind at heart and his eyes light up as he laughs at the world without a care. He is suntanned from time spent in the sun connecting with the earth and playing in the sea. He has strong arms and an open way of being and he is not afraid to show his raw, authentic emotions and communicate freely, sharing his hearty views of life and love. He has lived a nomadic lifestyle and he is grateful for the simple things that bless his journey. His family is kind and accepting, easy to be around. Sometimes we disagree, but when we make up I melt into his arms as he kisses me tenderly. He loves me for who I am entirely - and I him - accepting each others faults, learning and growing together with ease and grace. His spirituality is the land and the sea and he shows this in his genuine love of the waves, the rivers, the mountains, the animals, the culture and spirit. We make campfires and sleep under starlit skies in a swag and we wake to misty cool mornings and share a cup of hot tea with the birds. We laugh together and then we have moments of silence when neither of us need speak. We are soulmates in heart, soul and spirit. He is raw, authentic and genuine. He is dusty and dirty, weathered from the land. Non materialistic and earthy, he is sturdy and loyal and so much more..... so much more......

A moment in time

The wind is howling as I sip my coffee staring out towards the messy ocean. Its midday and I'm basking in the glorious winter sun. I should be somewhere else right now, but something brought me here to this headland, although I'm not sure what quite yet. Time passes and I grow restless. Finishing my coffee I stand up and stretch and suddenly feel an urge to dive into the sea but there are too many people here and I want to be somewhere isolated.

I jump in my car and head south, bound for somewhere, anywhere. A road appears to my left and instinctively I turn onto it, as if something higher is guiding me. It is windy and eventually becomes a dirt track. Up and down hills I travel until I eventually reach a carpark. I jump from the car and grab a mandarin and I see a small dam with a trail alongside it, so I sit there in the sun and watch ducks swim along the waters surface. Finishing my mandarin I head off on the trail with my bikini and towel, keen to hit the ocean.

As I emerge from the trail I notice the beach is deserted, not another soul in sight. The sand is warm and as I run to the sea I am laughing and smiling at the beauty and wonder of it all. I dive under the sea and white water rushes over my head, engulfing me. I emerge, all salty and sandy and skip towards my towel hidden under a pandanus tree full of fruit.

I reach for my towel.

I look up.

Its as if the world stops.

You are holding a baby duckling in your hands. You smile at me. Gentle kindness radiates from your being. You say hello and ask me how the water was. I'm not sure I can answer when I'm drowning in your beauty, but somehow I manage to smile back at you and say 'Beautiful'. We talk for what seems like hours, but of course I'm not checking the time, why would I want to, I want it to stand still and for this moment to last forever. You talk of so many things - the ocean, life, animals, waves, surfing and I notice you have the most perfect teeth. Your hair is long and wavy, and I just want to reach out and touch it. The baby duck sleeps in your cupped hands, warm against the chilly late afternoon onshore wind. So much time passes and the wind increases and makes me shiver, reminding me that I am not dreaming and that it is getting late. I tell you I have to go and you walk me to my car, talking and smiling the whole way. It's as if I have known you forever. You say goodbye and kiss me on the cheek, which feels as natural as the sun touching the earth first thing in the morning.

I drive away wondering if it was all but a dream.

And I know it wasn't.

Because I felt your heart & you felt mine.

It was a moment in time.

Nature smiles

It's a sunny morning as I drive along the highway. I know the wind is going to pick up and I hesitated slightly before taking off, enjoying the sun kissing my face as I sipped peppermint tea on the balcony earlier. But road trips are always beckoning my gypsy spirit and there's no way I can waste a day of sunshine inside so I'm here now humming along to Xavier Rudd gently playing on the stereo.

Pulling up into the carpark I stretch my legs and look at the ocean down below. Such beauty. Every time I set eyes on the sea I am enthralled beyond belief at what lays just below the surface. There's a whole other world under there.

I pick up my hat and hit the hiking trail, it says 4kms return. I've never walked this track before so I'm just letting myself be guided by the northerly wind that has by now picked up slightly.

Heading into a coastal paperbark forest I can see a river inlet down to my left and in the distance I can hear children splashing and playing, such joy to ones ears. I keep walking and their squeals of delight fade Into the distance. Approaching the first hill the ocean comes into view and the water is a murky brown colour, I'm slightly disappointed but I remind myself of the beauty of natures imperfections and I smile at this thought.

Walking for another few kilometres I savour the sunshine on my skin and wonder why I wore cowgirl boots as I clamber over exposed rocks with a sign above warning that the track beyond is for experienced bush walkers only. Damn boots! I quickly discard them and feel my feet connect with bare earth, such a delight!

Walking on the track narrows and goes slightly inland. Muddy sections squish between my toes and I smile at the sensation. Oh to be alive! But I really want to see the coast again.

As I round what feels like the millionth corner I suddenly stop. Right there in front of me is the most perfect scene I could have ever imagined. A tiny golden beach surrounded by pandanus trees perched on large boulders dropping into the sea. I gasp at the incredible beauty that I am beholding. There is not another soul around. Birds sing sweetly somewhere in the forest behind me. I feel completely at peace. There are absolutely no words to describe this magical place, it as if time has stood still.

I sit on a huge boulder for some time just staring out at the sea and the headlands beyond. Not thinking, not doing - just being.

I have no idea how much time has passed when I finally stand up and start walking again. The track continues to narrow and follows steeply the curves of the headland. A butterfly flutters by in front of me, dancing in the sunlight filtering through the trees. Again the track winds inland for some time before emerging to the most breathtaking set of headlands jutting out and dropping dramatically into the sea. Black rock against turquoise sea and feathering up into green hills of grass touched by winter sun. oh what a sight!

Heading further along the track I approach a lookout where I sit for some time feeling blessed and grateful all at once for this incredible connection with nature. And as a lone whale breaches out to sea I walk quietly back to my car, smiling and wondering if this was all but a dream ......

Liquid Gold

I remember the morning clearly.

As we paddled out, just the two of us, we paddled further than every other surfer. A morning like this was as if the universe had stood still.

The sun was emerging from below the horizon and colours of orange and yellow were spilling onto the surface of the sea. The water was still and soft, with just tiny movements of flow as my board broke the surface, reminding me that in fact I was still alive and not dreaming.

He turned to me and he smiled, wisdom in the creases of his older eyes. He spoke softly and he said

'This is liquid gold'

Defining moments

Some moments define us. In a split second we can be changed, our perceptions of the world can change. Our eyes can be opened to beauty when we seek further than what we initially set out to seek.

Yesterday was one such day. With many of these moments.

As I pull into the carpark of my favourite surf spot I am disappointed to see the tiniest of waves peeling off the point, and by tiny I mean unrideable. I have just driven an hour or more. I'm a teeny bit bummed. After a quick coffee break I decide that adventure is calling and I jump back into my car and hit the dirt road southbound. With no way of knowing where I will end up I allow the universe to guide me. The hills are so green, and the yellow fireweed covers paddocks to my right as a crystal blue ocean strikes me as the most dazzling jewel I have ever seen to my left. Coffee cup is empty as I drain out the last of the bitter taste adjusting my sunnies against the morning glare. Somehow I feel that today will be exceptional, yet as I pull up into a dusty carpark I see cars for miles, but I just want to be alone, so again I turn around and hightail it back onto the road with dust in my rearview mirror.

Travelling further into the trees I am greeted by a light offshore wind & suddenly I am at a lookout and below me stretches a beach as far as the eye can see, with a little cove, and a little but perfect wave. I look up at the sky, stretch, smile and start to get my board off the roof. When I arrive down at the beach I realise the wave isn't as perfect as I initially thought so instead I grab my gopro and race to the sea, laughing and smiling at her beauty, realising that she, like humanity, is never always perfect, yet, in her imperfections, well, she is beautiful. Diving under the water I gasp at the crispness of the winter chill. Emerging up again I feel refreshed and free. I swim, I dive..... I feel free. Laying on the sand I sip peppermint and lemon tea from a 2nd hand thermos, its the colour of the sun and again I smile at the simple pleasures of being alive. The sun is beaming brightly at me and the warm rays touch my body like a lover long lost, spiralling me into a dreamy delirious state.

You see...... some moments define us. What may not seem perfect at first is always what you make it. There is no such thing as perfect. Nature reminds us that we are perfectly imperfect. But, no matter what, nature will always be perfect to me.